Congratulations! You’ve exemplified laziness!

ByReview Staff

…said the Ithaca Rotary Club as they handed Cornell its 2009 ‘Pride of Ownership’ award.

Cornell receives award for forgetting to mow the lawn. My father usually had a different reaction.

In case you haven’t noticed, Cornell’s legendary Libe Slope has about a 3-acre soul patch growing on the north end – right below its Johnson (Museum of Art).  Apparently, somebody decided earlier this year that a good tourniquet for our financial bleeding starts with cutting mowing costs.  Of course, this makes us all ‘reimagine‘ if the culprit of our financial demise may in fact not be shoddy cinemas, old professors, or triplet business programs, but rather, grass?  So basically, there is a bunch of wildly tall grass growing unabashedly on our school’s front lawn.

Yet the Ithaca Rotary Club (not to be confused with Ithaca Boatery Club) found it necessary to bestow upon our fine University their annual ‘Pride of Ownership’ award, a prize whose name inherently contradicts the reality of the soul patch (past winners of award utilized alternative energy methods, generally absurd architectural designs, and Weill Hall) .  I was always taught growing up that we mowed our lawn because we cared.  Because we took pride. Because we owned. But the commendation for the award says of the patch:

And congrats to the Rotary Club for finding the oldest building in Ithaca, as well as the dullest digital camera currently on the market

The result has not only been a conservation of labor and energy, but a beautifully textured counterpoint to the areas currently mown more frequently and a stunning setting for I.M. Pei’s Johnson Museum of Art. The university is to be commended for such a creative and aesthetically pleasing approach to sustainability and encouraged as they identify more areas to partially or fully ‘re-naturalize.’

I say we ‘fully re-naturalize’ the school bathrooms, as well.  Extract all the concrete, plumbing, amenities and gender specifications, and let the soil take its course as Cornellians everywhere bask in the au-naturel beauty of public, unassisted number two’s.  Of course, the absence of janitorial duties will help cut back on expenses, as well.

Or we could just hope Susan Murphy has made some progress on that Program House review…

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  • Cornell students, community members, and alumni contribute to the Cornell Review. Staff consists of student writers collaborating on articles, with occasional guest submissions as well.

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Cornell students, community members, and alumni contribute to the Cornell Review. Staff consists of student writers collaborating on articles, with occasional guest submissions as well.

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