Dating with the “Enemy”

Once upon a time this week, a friend of mine had an unpleasant reminder of what “tolerance” means to most liberals. She told me: “A friend of mine tried to set me up with a friend of hers here who she thought I’d hit it off with. She gave him my screen name. We talked on AIM and it was going great! We liked the same books, same movies, and he complimented me and asked me to go meet up for coffee. Then in the next breath, he asked for my facebook. Of course, I friended him. He’s like “hang on, reading your profile,” and then not even a minute later, he IMed me again and said, “sorry but you aren’t my type.” I was immediately de-friended and he blocked me on AIM.”

My friend (who is quite attractive) continued.  “Maybe he saw the Glenn Beck link in my profile and other tell-tale signs of my Republican-ness. I noticed he had a bunch of Obama banners in his profile, but I would never dream of bringing that up on the first “date” – I mean he seemed cool otherwise and it’s not like you need to always date people exactly the same as you.”

Unfortunately, it seems that “sameness” is basically a requirement when navigating the dating scene here at Cornell. If you go out on a limb and confess to a potential partner that you didn’t drink the Kool-Aid, so to speak, chances are at Cornell that partner is probably going to disagree (unless he’s one of the dozen college Republicans or Review staffers who somehow manage to prevail in the harsh Ithaca climate).  Another conservative friend of mine commented: “You probably have a better chance of flunking out [of college] then meeting a normal heterosexual guy who isn’t an Obama-maniac.” Another female staffer here on the Review has had similar experiences: “Ithaca is a black hole for dating.”

This is certainly not the first time that any of us (author included) have experienced a sense of bias against conservative women by liberal men, but it’s not something you often hear discussed publically — for obvious reasons.

To be clear, we aren’t talking about getting married – naturally then, we’d prefer a man who would share our values. But then again, opposites do attract sometimes. So if it’s just about having coffee and a good time (at least on the first date!) and not a political debate, then honestly what’s the big deal?

I don’t expect this question to be answered, but are we the only ones who have had such experiences when it comes to politics and dating? Have you ever been suddenly shut out by someone because of your political views?